Quick Summary:
Act 1:
-Both families at festival
-Romeo falls in love with Juliet
Act 2:
-Tybalt 'kills' Mercutio
-Romeo 'kills' Tybalt
-Romeo gets kicked out
Act 3:
-Friar Lawrence sets up an overly complicated plan
-Paris kills Romeo
-Juliet wakes up to a dead Romeo, and kills herself.
Act 1:
-Both families at festival
-Romeo falls in love with Juliet
Act 2:
-Tybalt 'kills' Mercutio
-Romeo 'kills' Tybalt
-Romeo gets kicked out
Act 3:
-Friar Lawrence sets up an overly complicated plan
-Paris kills Romeo
-Juliet wakes up to a dead Romeo, and kills herself.
ROmeo and Juliet COmic
(it's actually a screenplay)
Act 1
Scene 1
At a large estate, the Capulet Symphony is preparing their instruments on stage. They are in a ballroom-like setting, with tables set up for guests. Back stage, Montague and his Orchestra are preparing their instruments. A sign by the door says that the Capulets will play throughout the afternoon, and the Montagues will play through the night.
Enter Butler on stage with Capulet Symphony waiting to perform.
Butler: Tonight, in New York, we have two bands to play
Their conflicting styles at Conductor Escalus’ estate.
In his honour, and for his respect, they have practised to play this night
And if luck is with them, there will be no more strife.
For if these families do not forget their fights,
The price that is due is their children’s lives.
Exit Butler, Montague and his Band start to play as guests arrive. The Capulets are waiting in back stage.
Tybalt: These fools play such pompous tunes
As if there is meaning and insight for them to muse.
Old Capulet: Hold your tongue, we are professionals, and these our peers
Show respect or leave you from here.
Tybalt: But uncle, they are fools, and their music impossible to endure.
I wish to end their careers before the crescendo reaches forté
Old Capulet: Well, maybe it is you who is the fool,
For they are the only Brass able to in the symphony. Now prepare, we join them shortly.
Montagues finish, Capulets join them on stage for the Orchestra.
Romeo: Who is this that plays the flute? By whose household is she?
Nurse: That is Juliet, daughter of Capulet
Stay away Montague, I do not want her to get hurt.
The Orchestra plays a few more songs and then takes a break.
Romeo: Juliet, I wish to marry you!
Juliet: How could anything at first sight be untrue?
Romeo: send your nurse to Friar Lawrence’s studio tomorrow where we can make our solos a compilation
Juliet: By love’s wings she will be there, and our love will be far from desperation.
After a few more songs, the orchestra takes a break. Romeo talks to Friar Lawrence.
Friar: Romeo! I see you seem to be smitten?
With fair Rosaline, no doubt?
Romeo: I have forgotten the girl whose heart was missing.
I have a love that is standing about.
Friar: Stop the riddles, I need an answer.
Who is it that made Rosaline something to forget?
Romeo: Well, Friar, it is fair Juliet!
Friar: Maybe this could protect your families from devestation,
By uniting your families into a nation.
And all could be good, and all could be well
And till the morrow, farewell!
Act 2
Scene 1
The day after the outburst Mercutio and Benvolio are in the practice rooms in back of the music hall where the Symphony practices. The Practice room is clearly reserved for Tybalt, as shown by a schedule posted on the door. Inside the dampened room Mercutio and Benvolio are practicing. Tybalt walks approaches the door and rages. Tybalt is glaring through the window on the door.
Benvolio: (looking up) By my Capa, it’s a Capulet.
Mercutio: By my fine, I care not.
Tybalt: Thou art the consorts of Romeo.
Mercutio: Consorts? We are no more consorts than conductors, who with him blow (Long trombone slide in Tybalts face.)
Tybalt: Why wouldst thou have with me?
Mercutio: You are a Capulet, a begging thief.
Tybalt: (hits Mercutio to the ground with and instrument case, breaks his arm in rage) exeunt tybalt, enter Romeo.
Mercutio: a plague on both your houses, I may never play again.
Do you not know how your families quarrel will end?
A tragedy and a travesty to peace. I cannot handle this blasphemy.
Romeo: Courage man, the hurt cannot be much,
I’ve seen you heal from cuts worse than such.
A broken wrist may heal with speed
And soon you will be back on your feet.
Exeunt Romeo and Benvolio supporting Mercutio.
Enter Juliet and Lady Capulet.
Lady Capulet: I don’t understand you preference, Juliet,
Paris is the best pianist in all the land.
Juliet: But he is not right for me, or a duet!
I do not wish to be in the palm of his hand.
Old Capulet: (over hears them) how are you so stupid?
An opportunity like this cannot be resisted
You will perform with him, and never regret it
Because he can give you the best life you could get.
Scene 2:
Romeo and Benvolio help him to his feet, take him to a doctor.
In the waiting room, enter Benvolio.
Romeo: Benvolio! How’s Mercutio’s arm?
Is it able to mend?
Benvolio: No, I’m afraid, his careers at an end.
Romeo stands.
Romeo: than it is at the fault of Tybalt, for we had no difference.
And he ruthlessly broke the arm of Mercutio.
So it is with Mercutio on my mind I leave hence
To find this foul nemesis and make him my foe.
Scene 3
Back in the music hall Tybalt is leaving the practice room.
Romeo: Tybalt! Put ‘em up!
Settle this like men before it gets out of hand
By law or transgression, this will be over soon enough.
Tybalt: Do you not see it was your friend, not me
That wished for this senseless deviancy
From the code which we have conducted ourselves:
Hate from afar, never light a fire we cannot quell.
Romeo: have at it, sir, you may hide all you like
With un-clever wordplay you avoid my blow
From my fist, my boot, and this noble fight.
I will teach you a piece you wish not to know.
Tybalt: Do not mock me, for I keep the peace
This is unaristocratic, not nobility.
They fight. Romeo stomps on Tybalts hands. Enter Escalus
Escalus: Is this how you behave, the heir to your thrones?
You have brought a disgrace to yourselves and your homes.
Begone, exuent, I have no need for your kind
This is a place of music, and there is no room for
Miscreants like you, to blooden the floor.
So until you learn to leave your problems behind.
Romeo. Is. Banished.
Act 3
Scene 1
Friar Lawrence’s studio. He is laying down some mad beats when Juliet’s Nurse arrives.
Nurse: Friar Lawrence, Juliet has sent me to arrange a date
Lawrence: Good morrow or I would also accept good day,
For salutations do not seem to be your forte.
Nurse: I do not propose, or agree to this sacrement,
But this is the decision of Juliet’s.
Forgive me if I appear to be adverse,
But I am having difficulty agreeing to her verse.
Friar: Well then I have news, to be taken as good or bad can be contemplated,
As it may leave Juliet heartbroken, but by your attitude to her decision, likely you to be elated.
Romeo has been removed by Escalus, and has no choice but to live up state
As no local band will hire him after his foolish mistake.
Take this letter, and deliver it to your lady, (scrawls on a piece of paper)
for I have devised a plan to rectify this… maybe.
Scene 2
Capulet Mansion. Juliet comes running down the stairs of the empty mansion as her Nurse enters through the large front doors.
Juliet: Bring thee good news of my marriage to me?
Or do I have no choice but to live lonely.
I can tell by the scorn of your lips that you bear bad news,
But the bear is a beast I can no bear to be with.
Tell me, what has become of Romeo?
Nurse: There is news you should know… (reading the letter from Friar Lawrence.)
“You must pretend to be deafened, and your parents will unpair you from Paris.
Romeo will take you to his out of town residence
And I will explain this mess to your parents.
I have sent a telegram to Romeo as we speak
And he will remove you from town by the end of the week.”
Scene 3
This entire scene is silent with upbeat, urgent sounding music in the back ground:
Friar Lawrence is tapping hastily on a telegraph, angrily stopping and starting over as he realizes his mistakes. Beside him is a chart of the morse code alphabet. On the other side of the telegraph, listeners are looking confusedly at the jibberish coming through their telegraph. They resolve to throw it away. Romeo does not get the letter.
Juliet pretends to walk in on her Nurse playing a piccolo and fanes deafness from being exposed to the high pitched frequency. When nobody is around, they fill Juliet’s ears with cotton to avoid her making the mistake of answering anybody.
Benvolio is visiting Mercutio in the hospital where he sees Juliet, faking her way through hearing tests. The music crescendos. Benvolio quickly travels by train to Romeo’s hideout. The music softens as Romeo breaks down to his knees.
Scene 4
Romeo arrives in New York once again and Rushes to Juliets home. It is late at night, and there is a full moon. The night is silent as Romeo sneaks through the courtyard to below the balcony of Juliet’s room. From across the courtyard Paris is watching. Upon pulling himself halfway onto the balcony, Romeo feels Paris pulling on his pantlegs.
Paris: What business do you have, sneaking through this place at such an hour? Do you plan to harm poor Juliet?
Romeo: Her well being is all that I am concerned with!
Paris: Do not mock me with your lies. Evil is on your mind, and I know it.
Romeo stomps on Paris’, knocking him to the ground. Romeo Leaps down beside him. Filled with rage, he crushes Paris’ hand under his foot. Romeo turns to continue his climb to Juliet.
Paris: I hope it is understood that I do not appreciate your accompaniment.
Romeo: Trumpets and Pianos do not often share duets. Music to my ears is your torment.
Paris stands up, and with his good hand pulls a gun from within his jacket. He pulls the trigger, and Romeo drops to the ground holding his ears.
Paris: Blastissimo sforzando, and the melody falls silent.
Romeo: (Yelling) What? I can’t hear a word that you just said.
Paris: I wish I could say the same of your trumpet.
Romeo struggles to his feet, and turns to a smiling Paris. As Paris lowers his gun Romeo jumps at him. Paris hits his head off the ground and loses his breath as he hits the ground. Romeo continues his climb.
Romeo reaches Juliet’s bed and kneels beside her as she sleeps.
Romeo: Juliet! Juliet! Art thou truly deaf? Juliet!
Why shall we live, when we may as well be dead?
The silhouette of Paris hauls himself over the balcony, and limps behind Romeo and hits him over the head with the gun. Romeo falls onto Juliet. Paris quickly abandons Romeo’s unconscious body on the bed. Juliet’s eyes flutter awake and see Paris leaping over the balcony. Juliet looks around confusedly, pulls the cotton from her ears.
Juliet: Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo!
Just as sweet would not it smell, if a new name was given to a rose?
Had you another name, this catastrophe could have been avoided
But now our lives are beyond mending. We’ve destroyed them.
(She raises Paris’ discarded gun to her head [music swells])
Music cuts, scene blacks out to credits.
Scene 1
At a large estate, the Capulet Symphony is preparing their instruments on stage. They are in a ballroom-like setting, with tables set up for guests. Back stage, Montague and his Orchestra are preparing their instruments. A sign by the door says that the Capulets will play throughout the afternoon, and the Montagues will play through the night.
Enter Butler on stage with Capulet Symphony waiting to perform.
Butler: Tonight, in New York, we have two bands to play
Their conflicting styles at Conductor Escalus’ estate.
In his honour, and for his respect, they have practised to play this night
And if luck is with them, there will be no more strife.
For if these families do not forget their fights,
The price that is due is their children’s lives.
Exit Butler, Montague and his Band start to play as guests arrive. The Capulets are waiting in back stage.
Tybalt: These fools play such pompous tunes
As if there is meaning and insight for them to muse.
Old Capulet: Hold your tongue, we are professionals, and these our peers
Show respect or leave you from here.
Tybalt: But uncle, they are fools, and their music impossible to endure.
I wish to end their careers before the crescendo reaches forté
Old Capulet: Well, maybe it is you who is the fool,
For they are the only Brass able to in the symphony. Now prepare, we join them shortly.
Montagues finish, Capulets join them on stage for the Orchestra.
Romeo: Who is this that plays the flute? By whose household is she?
Nurse: That is Juliet, daughter of Capulet
Stay away Montague, I do not want her to get hurt.
The Orchestra plays a few more songs and then takes a break.
Romeo: Juliet, I wish to marry you!
Juliet: How could anything at first sight be untrue?
Romeo: send your nurse to Friar Lawrence’s studio tomorrow where we can make our solos a compilation
Juliet: By love’s wings she will be there, and our love will be far from desperation.
After a few more songs, the orchestra takes a break. Romeo talks to Friar Lawrence.
Friar: Romeo! I see you seem to be smitten?
With fair Rosaline, no doubt?
Romeo: I have forgotten the girl whose heart was missing.
I have a love that is standing about.
Friar: Stop the riddles, I need an answer.
Who is it that made Rosaline something to forget?
Romeo: Well, Friar, it is fair Juliet!
Friar: Maybe this could protect your families from devestation,
By uniting your families into a nation.
And all could be good, and all could be well
And till the morrow, farewell!
Act 2
Scene 1
The day after the outburst Mercutio and Benvolio are in the practice rooms in back of the music hall where the Symphony practices. The Practice room is clearly reserved for Tybalt, as shown by a schedule posted on the door. Inside the dampened room Mercutio and Benvolio are practicing. Tybalt walks approaches the door and rages. Tybalt is glaring through the window on the door.
Benvolio: (looking up) By my Capa, it’s a Capulet.
Mercutio: By my fine, I care not.
Tybalt: Thou art the consorts of Romeo.
Mercutio: Consorts? We are no more consorts than conductors, who with him blow (Long trombone slide in Tybalts face.)
Tybalt: Why wouldst thou have with me?
Mercutio: You are a Capulet, a begging thief.
Tybalt: (hits Mercutio to the ground with and instrument case, breaks his arm in rage) exeunt tybalt, enter Romeo.
Mercutio: a plague on both your houses, I may never play again.
Do you not know how your families quarrel will end?
A tragedy and a travesty to peace. I cannot handle this blasphemy.
Romeo: Courage man, the hurt cannot be much,
I’ve seen you heal from cuts worse than such.
A broken wrist may heal with speed
And soon you will be back on your feet.
Exeunt Romeo and Benvolio supporting Mercutio.
Enter Juliet and Lady Capulet.
Lady Capulet: I don’t understand you preference, Juliet,
Paris is the best pianist in all the land.
Juliet: But he is not right for me, or a duet!
I do not wish to be in the palm of his hand.
Old Capulet: (over hears them) how are you so stupid?
An opportunity like this cannot be resisted
You will perform with him, and never regret it
Because he can give you the best life you could get.
Scene 2:
Romeo and Benvolio help him to his feet, take him to a doctor.
In the waiting room, enter Benvolio.
Romeo: Benvolio! How’s Mercutio’s arm?
Is it able to mend?
Benvolio: No, I’m afraid, his careers at an end.
Romeo stands.
Romeo: than it is at the fault of Tybalt, for we had no difference.
And he ruthlessly broke the arm of Mercutio.
So it is with Mercutio on my mind I leave hence
To find this foul nemesis and make him my foe.
Scene 3
Back in the music hall Tybalt is leaving the practice room.
Romeo: Tybalt! Put ‘em up!
Settle this like men before it gets out of hand
By law or transgression, this will be over soon enough.
Tybalt: Do you not see it was your friend, not me
That wished for this senseless deviancy
From the code which we have conducted ourselves:
Hate from afar, never light a fire we cannot quell.
Romeo: have at it, sir, you may hide all you like
With un-clever wordplay you avoid my blow
From my fist, my boot, and this noble fight.
I will teach you a piece you wish not to know.
Tybalt: Do not mock me, for I keep the peace
This is unaristocratic, not nobility.
They fight. Romeo stomps on Tybalts hands. Enter Escalus
Escalus: Is this how you behave, the heir to your thrones?
You have brought a disgrace to yourselves and your homes.
Begone, exuent, I have no need for your kind
This is a place of music, and there is no room for
Miscreants like you, to blooden the floor.
So until you learn to leave your problems behind.
Romeo. Is. Banished.
Act 3
Scene 1
Friar Lawrence’s studio. He is laying down some mad beats when Juliet’s Nurse arrives.
Nurse: Friar Lawrence, Juliet has sent me to arrange a date
Lawrence: Good morrow or I would also accept good day,
For salutations do not seem to be your forte.
Nurse: I do not propose, or agree to this sacrement,
But this is the decision of Juliet’s.
Forgive me if I appear to be adverse,
But I am having difficulty agreeing to her verse.
Friar: Well then I have news, to be taken as good or bad can be contemplated,
As it may leave Juliet heartbroken, but by your attitude to her decision, likely you to be elated.
Romeo has been removed by Escalus, and has no choice but to live up state
As no local band will hire him after his foolish mistake.
Take this letter, and deliver it to your lady, (scrawls on a piece of paper)
for I have devised a plan to rectify this… maybe.
Scene 2
Capulet Mansion. Juliet comes running down the stairs of the empty mansion as her Nurse enters through the large front doors.
Juliet: Bring thee good news of my marriage to me?
Or do I have no choice but to live lonely.
I can tell by the scorn of your lips that you bear bad news,
But the bear is a beast I can no bear to be with.
Tell me, what has become of Romeo?
Nurse: There is news you should know… (reading the letter from Friar Lawrence.)
“You must pretend to be deafened, and your parents will unpair you from Paris.
Romeo will take you to his out of town residence
And I will explain this mess to your parents.
I have sent a telegram to Romeo as we speak
And he will remove you from town by the end of the week.”
Scene 3
This entire scene is silent with upbeat, urgent sounding music in the back ground:
Friar Lawrence is tapping hastily on a telegraph, angrily stopping and starting over as he realizes his mistakes. Beside him is a chart of the morse code alphabet. On the other side of the telegraph, listeners are looking confusedly at the jibberish coming through their telegraph. They resolve to throw it away. Romeo does not get the letter.
Juliet pretends to walk in on her Nurse playing a piccolo and fanes deafness from being exposed to the high pitched frequency. When nobody is around, they fill Juliet’s ears with cotton to avoid her making the mistake of answering anybody.
Benvolio is visiting Mercutio in the hospital where he sees Juliet, faking her way through hearing tests. The music crescendos. Benvolio quickly travels by train to Romeo’s hideout. The music softens as Romeo breaks down to his knees.
Scene 4
Romeo arrives in New York once again and Rushes to Juliets home. It is late at night, and there is a full moon. The night is silent as Romeo sneaks through the courtyard to below the balcony of Juliet’s room. From across the courtyard Paris is watching. Upon pulling himself halfway onto the balcony, Romeo feels Paris pulling on his pantlegs.
Paris: What business do you have, sneaking through this place at such an hour? Do you plan to harm poor Juliet?
Romeo: Her well being is all that I am concerned with!
Paris: Do not mock me with your lies. Evil is on your mind, and I know it.
Romeo stomps on Paris’, knocking him to the ground. Romeo Leaps down beside him. Filled with rage, he crushes Paris’ hand under his foot. Romeo turns to continue his climb to Juliet.
Paris: I hope it is understood that I do not appreciate your accompaniment.
Romeo: Trumpets and Pianos do not often share duets. Music to my ears is your torment.
Paris stands up, and with his good hand pulls a gun from within his jacket. He pulls the trigger, and Romeo drops to the ground holding his ears.
Paris: Blastissimo sforzando, and the melody falls silent.
Romeo: (Yelling) What? I can’t hear a word that you just said.
Paris: I wish I could say the same of your trumpet.
Romeo struggles to his feet, and turns to a smiling Paris. As Paris lowers his gun Romeo jumps at him. Paris hits his head off the ground and loses his breath as he hits the ground. Romeo continues his climb.
Romeo reaches Juliet’s bed and kneels beside her as she sleeps.
Romeo: Juliet! Juliet! Art thou truly deaf? Juliet!
Why shall we live, when we may as well be dead?
The silhouette of Paris hauls himself over the balcony, and limps behind Romeo and hits him over the head with the gun. Romeo falls onto Juliet. Paris quickly abandons Romeo’s unconscious body on the bed. Juliet’s eyes flutter awake and see Paris leaping over the balcony. Juliet looks around confusedly, pulls the cotton from her ears.
Juliet: Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo!
Just as sweet would not it smell, if a new name was given to a rose?
Had you another name, this catastrophe could have been avoided
But now our lives are beyond mending. We’ve destroyed them.
(She raises Paris’ discarded gun to her head [music swells])
Music cuts, scene blacks out to credits.